I am meeting another okc guy on Sunday. A possibility. It's a good exercise, I tell myself. At least. We might be able to talk, who knows. I think that hopefulness is worth something in and of itself. Disappointment be damned.I have been feeling dull and self-critical. I am afraid of so many things. You would think that at this age I'd be less timid. I suppose I *am* less timid but I struggle with myself most of the time, which is another way of saying that I'm still alive. But that's really not good enough. I need to push myself to do things I don't want to do, things that make me anxious. Such as: Call mom and dad. Write something every day, or almost every day, without caring about what I have in mind.
