feminism

I have always thought it amazing that middle-class women routinely alter, or enhance, or cover their faces and bodies (with makeup and clothes and dietary/workout regimens and surgery and what have you). Without giving it a second thought, these women carry on as if they are not aging and have no blemishes, no body hair, and no body fat. It takes a lot of effort to pull all that off, and it is an effort that I have never made. I would say it's because I'm lazy (in fact, I do say it often, mostly to comfort other people), or because I prefer to spend time and effort (not to mention money) on other things. But really, in the end, it's because I'm convinced that people of all genders and ethnicities are more interesting when they look like themselves.

It's not that I think no woman should wear makeup or shave her legs. I don't really care what people do with themselves. I do care that so many of us have so little self-confidence. We seem to have swapped the oppressive old rules --corsets, heavy full-length dresses, etc. -- for equally oppressive new rules that require a lot more work.

Of course, we don't have to follow the rules, and many women don't. But we have to choose not to do it, and we sometimes encounter people who don't approve of our decisions. Then again, it's highly unrealistic to expect that you'll never experience any discomfort or insecurity in this world of ours.

american dream

How did I get this far, I often ask myself. I didn't deserve any of it. It seems like it all happened to me, though I know I made some decisions and took some small risks. Mostly, I was lucky -- lucky to be born in a wealthy country at a time when women were gaining public agency; to grow up in a functioning family, to have intelligent parents, to be white and able-bodied. To find some use for my attentiveness and introspection. To develop a belief system.