Loving

I rode my bike to see Loving at Embarcadero Cinema -- the discount matinee in one of the smallest screening rooms. I was moved, quietly, and smitten with the faces of the lead actors, which we saw up close quite often. I found Nick Kroll a bit distracting but he didn't stick out as much as I had feared -- he did not appear in many scenes other than the ones that were in the trailer. I happened to sit next to an interracial family -- and afterward, in the women's room, the wife told me that she wasn't sure how realistic some of the everyday scenes were. I didn't ask her exactly what she meant -- I wish I had -- but I am guessing she was referring to the scenes in which blacks and (just a few) whites were socializing. Or maybe that's just me projecting. She said she had just been telling one of her daughters (there were three in the bathroom with her, all adults) that she and her husband had lived in Maryland about a decade after miscegenation laws had been overturned there. She said, "That's American history." I managed to reply, "Not very long ago, I'm sad to say."

kitchen

I'm happy with the kitchen these days -- my design anxiety has ebbed and I like cooking and baking in there. Three McCormicks came over today for lunch, and it was good to see them -- we mostly sat in the dining area eating soup and cookies, talking energetically about this and that, as we always do. I am sitting on the couch watching the sun go down. I'm not sure if I need to make dinner.

On xmas eve I went out to lunch with A and B and Garry and David. That was a lot of fun. Afterward, I spent an hour or so at the Asian Museum before I drove across the bridge. I mostly wanted to visit the snuff bottles. I was dismayed to see that the corner of the park closest to the museum was densely populated by older white homeless men and their stuff. I don't know if I'm just getting old and losing my capacity for empathy, but I hate seeing this sort of thing. Fortunately, the snuff bottles did not disappoint.

I stopped by the Bowl and it was not crowded. I guess a lot of people were out of town. When I got to N+T's there were preparations under way to get T's niece to the airport. I ended up riding along with N, which was nice because I got to chat with the niece on the way there and with Nola on the way back -- we got a little turned around while we were trying to skirt around the post-Raiders-game traffic, but you never really get completely lost in the cell phone era.

Anyway, I had a really nice, fairly low-key xmas eve/day. I got home before 5:00, after I dropped N off at the airport (she was going up to Seattle), and did next to n othing, except make the dough for the cookies, so that it could chill over night. Gene and Barbara were having people over for xmas and that involved a bit of music -- I think that was the first time I've ever heard any coming from their place. It wasn't loud, but I could hear the bass line, and so I thought, once again, about how much it might cost to insulate the shared wall. Then I put in earplugs and went to sleep.

land of the free

Axelrod recalled sitting around a conference table with Washington after he had won the Democratic primary for his reelection in 1987, just as the mayor was about to hold a press conference. Washington asked what percentage of Chicago’s white vote he’d received. “And someone said, ‘Well, you got 21 percent. And that’s really good because last time’ ”—in his successful 1983 mayoral campaign—“ ‘you only got 8,’ ” Axelrod recalled. “And he kind of smiled, sadly, and said, ‘You know, I probably spent 70 percent of my time in those white neighborhoods, and I think I’ve been a good mayor for everybody, and I got 21 percent of the white vote and we think it’s good.’ And he just kind of shook his head and said, ‘Ain’t it a bitch to be a black man in the land of the free and the home of the brave?’ 

“That was Harold. He felt those things. He had fought in an all-black unit in World War II. He had come up in times—and that and the sort of indignities of what you had to do to come up through the machine really seared him.” During his 1983 mayoral campaign, Washington was loudly booed outside a church in northwest Chicago by middle-class Poles, Italians, and Irish, who feared blacks would uproot them. “It was as vicious and ugly as anything you would have seen in the old South,” Axelrod said.

-from Ta-Nahisi Coates, "My President Was Black." 

making stock

Text TK.

back yard, finished for now

I'm done spending large sums of money, for now. I hope. After I freaked out over the cost we scaled back the plan -- fewer plants, bark chips in place of crushed rock (except in the area near the gate), and no lighting. I am OK with it, for now. The best thing is that I can step outside without descending into a trench, and when I come back inside I don't bring dirt with me.

Thanksgiving was good. I enjoyed having mom and dad stay with me, and I think they were relatively comfortable. We ate our breakfasts and lunches around the island. But I was very happy to see everyone sitting around my table for Thanksgiving dinner. Of course, I didn't stop to take any pictures. I was too busy trying to get everything on the table. The kitchen floor survived the activity -- I won't lie, I was thinking about it!

Today the rain has moved through in stages -- rain, sun, more rain, rain with sun. Now the sun is setting under dark clouds, but when I look east I see blue sky. Another storm is coming tonight, I think.

I am doing my second load of laundry of the day. Jonathan came over earlier to eat some of my leftover turkey and tell me that he's moving to Panama in January. Not selling his house, yet -- but certainly opting out of the Trump administration. The situation is bad enough for people like me -- I can't imagine how it must feel for people who aren't white.

back yard

Landscaping in progress. I took these on Friday morning. The peach tree has been removed and the soil has been leveled and on Monday (weather permitting) they will begin installing the irrigation line(s), putting in the steps, laying the tiles, spreading the bark chips, and planting.

It rained most of the day. I did not go outside at all. I cleaned and sorted and put more things away. I am running the dishwasher for the first time, and eating lentil curry with rice.

Mom and Dad arrive tomorrow night. I think the house will be ready for them, more or less. I vacuumed and set up the cot in the front bedroom, then shelved the rest of my books. I figured out how to change the settings for the water heater, and put all the appliance instruction manuals in a brown envelope. Will probably still wonder where they are whenever I need to look something up.

There are boxes scattered around -- some need to go back in the shed and others contain stuff to donate to Good Will. Tomorrow, I hope. I would like to go buy a new pillow or maybe two and get some groceries -- including beverages for Deborah's crew. Here's hoping I can motivate myself. It's so tempting just to stay home, especially when it's raining and the daylight doesn't last very long.

pier 24

Went to the gallery at pier 24 with CE last week. A clean, white rabbit warren of rooms. I loved the room with the Eggleston photos, and I saw a few portraits by an unknown (to me) photographer that reminded of Daniel's street photos. I'd like to go back.

It was soothing to be looking at art in a quiet space -- a young docent spoke to me in a hushed voice once or twice, but there were no visitors other than CE and myself. You have to make an appointment in advance, and it could be that they only allow a small number of people for each time slot.

Afterward CE and I had a drink and talked about our post-election shock and dismay and dread.

November

It was November -- the month of crimson sunset, parting birds, deep, sad hymns of the sea, passionate wind-songs in the pines. 

-L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Done, sort of

I haven't posted for so long because the final stages were a big rush and not everything happened the way I wanted it to. The laundry closet doors, the backsplash behind the stove, the noise generated by the water heater, the darkness of the countertops . . . I am getting over it. Especially now that the election is over and we're all shell-shocked, it doesn't matter very much whether I redo that backsplash or if I have to pay for a second set of closet doors.

Also, and in any case, I know I have a design disorder that causes me to feel like the reality doesn't live up to my expectations. I always need a little time to get over that kind of disappointment.

counters

morning moon and evening sun

Just a couple of pics taken right outside my door. All for now.

lighting

inching, inching, inching . . . the pendant and the oven fan are operational but of course there's a problem with the dimmer on the toggle switch. I need to decide how serious the problem is. Sigh. Also, of course, the canopy for the sunroom light is too small, so I have to buy another one. Also, of course, there's still a toilet in my bedroom, and the dishwasher is still in my living room. And the refrigerator is in my front bedroom.

The countertops will be installed on Friday, as will the faucet and the drain and the garbage disposal. The backsplash will be installed the following week. Inching. Inching. Inching.

stove

I came home a little early and Ariel was here. We talked about switchplates and switches and other details while he obsessively wiped down various surfaces. I joked that maybe I should have him come over every week or so to clean except that his rate would probably be too high. After he left I cooked on my new stove -- which, of course, has way more BTUs than I will ever need. I had to soak the blackened tomato and egg residue off the edges of the pan. But that had no bearing on the meal itself, which was fine in a basic sort of way.

the end is near?

Oh, countertops, where are you? So close and yet so far away. The floor refinishing felt like a huge step back into chaos, because it was. but I'm recovering, slowly. I wiped off the film of dust in the living room and laid down the newly cleaned rug. Ariel helped me reassemble the coffee table. I wiped off the bookcase in the front bedroom and shelved most of my books. Have not tackled the bedroom floors -- why bother until I can put things back where they belong?

Giants managed to win last night in 13 innings. I stayed up too late listening/watching. Tonight I'm meeting June and Dan for a drink but I should be able to see part of the game. Priorities, priorities.

home again

Joshua Tree and Berkeley were great -- N and I had a good time together, and when we got to Valley St last night we saw some smoked pulled pork on the counter. T got home a few minutes later and opened a nice bottle of rose. I stayed in the cabin/studio and was treated to coffee, waffle, and fruit this morning.

But, of course, I'm glad to be home. Even though my home is still disassembled. The painters are finishing up for the day and I'm on the couch. I took photos of the desert but haven't sorted through them yet. So here are two random photos -- the first taken from the car just after we turned onto Hwy 66 in Barstow, and the second taken this afternoon on my walk in the Berkeley hills. It's not much, but it's all I can manage for now.

I am not sure I like the color I chose for the bathroom but I'm going to give it some time to grow on me, or not. I made the decision in a hurry, and I thought the color would be much lighter than it is.

I stopped by mag's this morning and chatted with her and her mom for a good while. They just found out that Nancy snagged a studio in a senior apartment complex on Shattuck and Delaware -- she'll be moving in at the end of the month. Quite an amazing bit of news.

I think I'm going to drive over to watch the wildcard game in a little while, leaving all my household goods in piles and clumps. I don't feel like dealing with it, partly because I can't really put everything back where it belongs.

Scott will probably come tomorrow morning to install the second iteration of the pantry door. I think I can pay him from my checking account. I was relieved to find the check from the trucking company's insurance carrier for the electrical repair was in my mail pile.

floors and dust

Did not sleep more than three hours last night. Ugh. I didn't even go to bed until after 2 am -- drank too much bourbon and at some point got to work clearing away wood dust in the bathroom. I made a little progress but many surfaces are still coated with it. After lying awake for a while I listened to a podcast -- Here's the Thing -- and then another and another . . . I kept drifting in and out, and eventually I turned off the feed, at about 5:30. I tried to sleep in and managed to stay in bed until 9, floating in and out, almost pleasantly. Would have been pleasant if I'd had enough sleep.

I had forgotten to bring the bread home from Charlotte's and did not have any fruit in the house, so I walked to Butchertown Gourmet and had a cup of coffee (not very good) and a decent cinnamon roll. Sat for a while reading my Murakami novel, until I finished my breakfast. I came home and sat on the couch admiring the floor -- or what I can see of it and looking and stuff online, until I realized that it was noon and the rug cleaners close at 1:00. It took me a while to get the rugs in the car and I ended up driving down there via a circuitous route -- not sure if that was because I'd set the "no freeways" preference without realizing or if there was some kind of problem on 101 that the waze lady was helping me avoid. Anyway, I managed to get there about 7 minutes before 1:00.

I stopped at Good Life on the way home and bought figs, apples, yogurt, and a lime. Found Gene's car in the driveway, which made me cranky because I had to park and run up the steps to get him to move. He's such a sweet man, though.

When, oh when, will I have a kitchen and laundry?

Nick's

You would not know that it's a pretty great place from the outside. The guy who rang up my purchases would not charge me for the jalapeño.

floors

I am at Charlotte's tonight. So very kind of her to offer up her place. I met her here after work and she showed me around, made me practice unlocking all the doors, left, came back for her phone, and then left again. I made myself dinner in her kitchen -- such a pleasure to use a stove and a sink, even though she has no salt (for health reasons, I think) and all of her pans are large. I am feeling better, have gotten over my upset, Ariel has been working on getting the countertops installed sooner than mid-October. The living room was emptied out and mostly stacked up in the front bedroom, except for the stove, which is in the back bedroom. And now the sun room and the kitchen floors are being coated and the living room floor is being refinished.

Last night I got home from book group and the only place to sit was on my bed. I talked to Nola for a good while -- such a good conversation we had, why don't we do that more often? Then I tried and mostly failed to sleep. I was hungry, for one thing. While I was lying there I thought about the things that had upset me -- the countertops and the flooring -- and they didn't seem to matter all that much. I thought about JSV and felt sad but also relieved. Odd to think that my relationship with a contractor seems more vital, in a strange kind of way. I mean, I'm paying him, of course! But that makes it even more important to make things clear, as clear as they can be. The money is just money. The house, it's just a house, small and old. But of course it's more than that, for me.

five months and counting

I did yet another load of laundry at Nanci's place this afternoon. I will probably be doing at least one more before I get my own washer and dryer set up. I hung out with Charlotte and that was enjoyable. We made a plan to get dinner from the Mediterranean place on Mission and 30th next time I come over with my dirty laundry.

But even so, I am depressed and frustrated. I haven't been eating all that well lately -- tired of making do without a kitchen and giving up completely on the idea of cooking. I haven't renewed my CSA subscription and will not until whenever the kitchen is usable. I freaked out last week when Ariel told me that the countertops will cost a thousand more than our allowance and won't be installed for 3.5 weeks. On Friday, after the flooring for the sun room finally arrived, it was installed. Yay. Except that on Saturday morning I noticed that the strips don't match the rest of the flooring -- they are about a quarter-inch wider. I'm trying to figure out how to respond to this. I called Ariel and left a message about it, but he hasn't called back. He doesn't usually contact me over the weekend, so I'm not surprised that I haven't heard from him. I'm annoyed -- after all, I was told at one point that the engineered wood took so long to arrive because the strips had to be custom-cut to match the real oak flooring. But . . . it would be a big deal for them to tear out the mismatched flooring and order another batch. And, of course, I would be without laundry or kitchen for another couple/few weeks.

a better saturday

Feeling better today -- impatient but not depressed. John and Tanya have been having a party all afternoon -- outside, with a dj. Not deafeningly loud, but loud enough to be irritating after a couple of hours. I'm listening to the Giants score runs. It's not quite drowning out the music from across the street. But it's OK -- the party can't go on forever. Can it?

Earlier today I talked to Deborah about filling the trench and installing a new gate that will at least make it difficult for the raccoons to get on and off the roof. Then I walked over to Flora Grubb to take photos of plants that I might like in the back yard.

I also started moving books and other small items out of the living room. I even played the piano for the first time in weeks. I was going to try moving the rugs down to the car but I decided to wait, maybe until Monday when Ariel can help me. Eventually I'll take them to the rug cleaner in San Mateo; I'll retrieve them after the floors are done. This idea of doing all of the floors is a bit crazy but I hope it'll end up being a good one.

long tunnel

Hi, Ariel -- 

I just got home and it doesn't look like anything happened today -- painting or otherwise. I'm guessing that the wood for the sun room probably hasn't arrived. Seems like the counter people will need at least a couple of weeks to do their thing. 

Anyway, I guess I'm feeling a little depressed about how long I've gone without kitchen or laundry, and I need some sense of when I can have my house back. End of September? 

ALSO, will the siding on the sunroom that I can see from my bedroom window be painted?  

Hope you have a good weekend.

island

Getting closer -- even though Scott locked himself out shortly after I left for work this morning. He had to move his truck because of street sweeping. He will have to come back tomorrow.

kitchen

The cabinets are here! Not fully installed yet. The kitchen is getting there. I think I like it.

floors

color

Whoa, my house is part purple! I was alarmed when I saw it on Friday -- I came home early from work and the painting was in progress. Now that the paint has dried I am less concerned. I forgot to spec a dark gray for the window frames, and I might end up with a new/different trim color. You can't see the side of the house from most angles if you are down on the street. So . . . I am telling myself let's just wait a bit and see how the color settles in.

house and home

On Monday afternoon, Doug and his pal Matt spent an hour or two dismantling my Wedgewood stove, carrying it to the front of the house, and taking it down the stairs on a hydraulic dolly. The stove will probably be cannibalized -- apparently, the most valuable parts are the clock, the salt and pepper shakers, and the enameled stove top.

I went home early to let them in, and Ariel came to unbar the gate. Nobody was working and I couldn't help feeling depressed about the dust and disorder. Naturally, all the disruption seems worse when nothing is happening. But, like most feelings, the depression passed. Now I'm once again feeling anticipatory and anxious.

The mission creep continues -- painting to extend all along the side of the house, for about $2,000, and floors being refinished throughout the house for probably about the same amount. These are both good deals, in the grand scheme of things.

The riser and weatherhead will be adjusted later this week, and then the city inspector will come and give us the green card, and then PG&E will attach my wires permanently, and then Ariel will bill me, and then I will send the bill to the insurance carrier.

drywall

The back of the house feels like an interior space. Wahoo. It's a dusty, empty space with an acrid smell of whatever it is they use to coat the drywall, but still.

Asilomar, then A+B

I can remember sitting in the dining hall with the junior faculty and the grad students, but it seems like it happened in the distant past -- not last weekend. The day I spent with A and B seems much more recent. I drove home on Tuesday afternoon and when I arrived sometime after 6:00 there was an old SUV in the driveway. I didn't recognize it but I was sure it had to do with Gene and Barbara, so I stomped up the stairs and rang their bell. Barbara looked mystified and told me that she was hearing construction sounds from my house, which surprised me -- nobody has ever worked past 5:00 as far as I know. But she was right -- the dry wall guys were still working, and one of them was parked in my driveway. A few of the guys went home shortly after the SUV was moved, but two or three of them kept working until 7:30 or so. A couple/few had to came back three times, including this morning, to apply three coats of mud (a term I learned from Des). I grumbled when Ariel called to say there would be work going on today but I really want my house back so after a bit of moaning and groaning I sucked it up. I watered out

front and then drove over to Bernal Heights, thinking I'd go to the farmer's market and then get chips at either Good Life or Whole Foods. But then I realized I only had time to go to Good Life. 

The party this afternoon was fine. I spent a lot of time talking to a couple of SFPD officers -- Jerome and . . . Kevin, or something like that. Jerome, who is 25, grew up in the Mission; he may be Filipino -- he has a quiet way of carrying himself, which contrasts with his thick tattooed arms. Kevin claimed to be 40 but he looks younger; he has bright blue eyes and a habit of smiling pretty much all the time. I also enjoyed talking to Kisha (sp?) and Maxine and David F. It was tiring, of course. I came home and sat on the couch, nodded off, then got into bed, which is where I am right now.

I bought three paint samples yesterday at the paint store on Webster St. I got help from a tall, thin guy, maybe mid-thirties, with messy hair and nerdy glasses helped me -- he pulled off the trick of being knowledgable but not bossy or condescending. I decided to try the Benjamin Moore lavender and two C2 colors: a wheaty yellow-green called Outback and a blue-gray called Tidal. Tomorrow I'll apply patches to the siding.

The floors are going in this week -- I wonder if it's too late to get the living room floors refinished to match? I should ask.

The insurance company seems to be dealing with my claim. I called Mellinek Muchison twice and he called back when I wasn't paying attention to my phone, with a rather strange question about whether PG&E suffered any losses. Who knows. I just want him to ask me for an accounting of the costs I've incurred, so I can get some money.

I smell skunk.

inside and outside

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