polite distance

Is this true?

This is not a world where you can simply express love for other people, where you can praise them. Perhaps it should be. But it’s not. I’ve found that people will fear your enthusiasm and warmth, and wait to hear the price. Which is fair. We’ve all been drawn into someone’s love only to find out that we couldn’t afford it. A little distance buys everyone time.  -Paul Ford

Yes, I think so. And maybe also no -- because you can express love for some people. It's true that politeness creates a bit of distance and that distance can save both parties from making mistakes. It's also true that the last two sentences struck me as a perfect encapsulation of my most recent (disastrous) relationship. And who knows, maybe there is some overlap. If I'd been more polite and less eager I might have bought myself enough time to figure out that I couldn't afford it. When I think about it now I'm astounded that I didn't allow myself to see those tantrums for what they were. How did I not remember to use my eyes and ears, not to mention my brain? Well, I didn't do it because I was starved for love. My self-discipline could not keep up with my appetite, is all.

time passing

The smarter the woman is, the more difficult it is for her to find the right man.   -Oprah Winfrey  

I knew I was smart but now I feel like a frickin genius.

Last night a little before 10 I heard lots and lots of sirens in the middle distance -- turns out that someone was shot to death and another was wounded at Alice Griffith, and then there was a crowd to "control." In the middle of the night I heard a critter scratching/gnawing on something outside my bedroom window -- at least, I hope it was outside! Once I was awake I couldn't stop thinking about earthquakes. So I am taking it easy today, listening to the Giants game (they are playing the Tigers).

I'm thinking about doing absolutely nothing.

beach day

Nola and Thomas and Charlito took me to the beach yesterday. We went just a little past Valley Ford to Salmon Creek (or something like that). We were joined by Megan and Jim and Rob from Texas. I did pretty well with the sunscreen, but the inside of my left knee is sunburned. Mostly I just lay on the beach but I did get up and walk first in one direction and then in the other. Nola and Thomas brought tiny tacos and heated them on a propane stove/burner, after which we topped them with pork that Thomas had smoked for many hours on Saturday, tomato, lettuce, and tomatillo/avocado salsa. I brought grapes and blueberries. On the way home we stopped at the grocery store in Valley Ford and bought cold drinks. Nola and I shared an It's It (Thomas had his own). We sat on the porch to eat our ice cream, watching the cars come and go.

It is very warm today. I have been sitting here looking at things online for about an hour. The clothes I hung out on the line are probably dry by now. I think it's time to get up and maybe consider planting the protea neriifolia I bought at the Flora Grubb sale on Saturday. Maybe in the top terrace out front? Or in the back, somewhere.

Oh, and Thomas came over on Wednesday to install my bookcase. All of my books are shelved now, and there is a bit of room to spare. Yay.